my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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