Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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