ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
sex in a hospital.. check
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
