I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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