so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
