if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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