mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
How naked do you want me to be?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
