Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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