i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
third nipple confirmed
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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