Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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