you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
