Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize