scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
