my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
