No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
