Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
