Don't you send me to vm
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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