reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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