Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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