I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
