No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize