You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
