you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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