im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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