Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
