I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
