I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
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He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
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I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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