so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
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