Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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