You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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