I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
