I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
