maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
