Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
