Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
