I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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