I murdered the dance floor call the cops
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
