If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
