I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
