Say something about gay babies.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
