Already got asked if we're dating
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
