sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I know her cup size but not her name....
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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