he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
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