Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
