Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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