eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
