if you like me you must not know who I am
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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