was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
