When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
