I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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