Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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