I'm really into asian looking animals
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
