Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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