I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
