so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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