I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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