there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
