so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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