I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
