okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Randomize
